Ephesians 4:31-32

Day 42

“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.” Ephesians 4:31-32

The Unity of the Church and the Toxic Impact of Hatred
The ethical life of the church definitely impacts the witness of the church.  Hopefully, for all of us, we all have experienced a church that strives to do the right thing, with a love of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, a love of the scriptures, and a love for others.  Hopefully, that is true of your current church experience.  Churches that pursue a life consistent with the life exemplified by Christ provide a kind, gracious, encouraging, patient, and forgiving culture.  Each of us, as believers in Christ, must check our attitudes toward others.  Each believer in the church community impacts the church’s witness.  The toxic attitudes that Paul lists in these verses— bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, slander, and malice, all come from a place of pride, jealousy, pettiness and impatience toward others.   When we think more highly of ourselves than we should or when we think more highly of ourselves than others, the toxic inner thoughts and attitudes begin to spill over.  Jesus said it this way.  For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, slanders. (Matthew 15:19)  God calls on us to lay aside these horrible attitudes, thoughts, and words. 

Instead, we must put on a kind and tender heart.  We must live prepared to forgive each other.  In the church, sometimes people will hurt us.  If the offense is small, let it go.  Live with an attitude ready and willing to forgive, forget, and move forward.  If the offense seems more significant, then we must follow the biblical pattern established in Matthew 18.  We should go and work it out.  Go and work it out, even if that process scares us or seems difficult.  We’ve all seen resentfulness in others and, if we are honest, we’ve all allowed it in our own lives.  Oftentimes the initial offense goes unaddressed.  Ongoing thoughts continue to percolate to the point of bad attitudes toward the other person.  As bad attitudes develop, other aspects of our character deteriorate.  We struggle to shake the negative thoughts about the other person.  Frustration and paranoia begin to dictate our thoughts. We lose sleep as we contemplate all the things we could say to them. We may even wish trouble on them.  If trouble comes to that person, we might be tempted to celebrate their struggle. We become bitter and angry and have malice. We slander and malign others.  Our sinful nature, our old way of thinking and acting, dominates our relationships to the detriment of ourselves and the whole community around us.

Laying aside those old ways of living we put on the Jesus way of living. The standard of our kindness and forgiveness comes from Jesus Christ.  God showed kindness to us through Christ. He poured out His grace, kindness, and love on us. God forgave us through the great price of the life of Jesus Christ and His death on the cross.  The simile in the verse “just as” calls for us to contemplate and to imitate God in the way we forgive others.  How does God forgive us?  He takes the initiative.  He seeks for us.  We sinned against Him, and He already paid the price for our sin.  He freely offers forgiveness to us.  If we are the children of God and we have been forgiven so much, then we must forgive others.  In the Lord’s Prayer, Jesus modeled how we should pray. “Pray, then, in this way: ‘Our Father who is in heaven, hallowed be Your name. Your kingdom come. Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.’” (Matthew 6:9-13)  Jesus then gives us this warning concerning our prayers. For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.  (Matthew 6:14-15)  We must forgive others because we have been forgiven by God. 

Ephesians chapter 4 opens with an encouragement for the unity of the church.  Paul told the church to be “diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit.” These two verses at the end of Ephesians 4, Ephesians 4:31-32, address some of the fundamental attitudes that impact church unity.  We cannot be united unless we all purposely choose to lay aside these toxic attitudes toward others.  We cannot be united unless we put on attitudes consistent with Jesus.  May we live with kindness, a kind heart, and a forgiving spirit.  May God preserve the unity of the church through the transformation of His people.

Suggested Prayer:  God, give me a forgiving attitude toward others.  Help me imitate You in Your merciful, gracious, kind, and forgiving heart.  As You have forgiven me, let me forgive others.  I lay aside my anger and bitterness.  Protect my mouth from slander.  Amen.

Ephesians